On the first episode of Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast, Brené Brown shares her concept of “Effing First Times”or “FFTs” as she calls them. FFTs are a recognition of the difficulty at being new, let alone good, at just about anything.
“When we have no relevant experiences or expertise, the vulnerability, uncertainty and fear of these firsts can be overwhelming,” she said. “Yet, showing up and pushing ourselves past the awkward learner stage is how we get braver.”
I long for 2018-me to have had access to this framing. I had just begun (intentionally) integrating justice, equity, and belonging into my development practice. As the founder of a boutique consultancy, I committed myself to the trials of novelty, knowing that more than once, I would — inevitably — fall on my face. But, I hoped (maybe knew?) the reward would outweigh the risk. I was open to experiencing and learning from failure.
Essay Archives
How are we supposed to get a leg up on the job hunt if all job interview #hottips are for white people?
Whether you are an emerging professional or a seasoned one in the field, job interviews can take you through a series of emotions. A job interview can often feel extremely judgemental, which can lead to an incredible amount of pressure for some.
When alerted of an incoming job interview, while some folx may feel instant excitement over being one step closer to the job, others can feel anxious.
To ease these feelings of anxiety, many of us rely on research. Cue the endless Google searches on “how to prepare for an interview” and “how to make a good first impression at an interview.” The more detailed of these searches can go as far as including industry-related keywords, which will generate listicles, articles, and so much more to support folx on their journey through the hiring process.
Why every meeting should mention race and equity
As I write this essay, I’m thinking about Shanice*, a Black woman who joined my course at Cal State University East Bay several years ago.
On the last day of class, Shanice handed me a note. The note said, “I didn’t feel encouraged in this class.”
My first reaction was a defensive one. What is she talking about! I thought to myself. I didn’t intentionally treat Shanice differently than any other student.
That note stung. I put it away for a time and held onto my defensiveness.
But eventually, I picked it up again, looked at it, and thought to myself, what is the truth that this note is holding?
Does your board need to be more diverse? Here’s how to do it.
After 2020’s wake-up call for everyone to be better at embracing diversity and social equity, has philanthropy finally learned to make this a priority in every area of our work?
From where I stand (as a person of color, female, of Asian ethnicity, and an immigrant from India), while it appears that these issues are gaining in popularity, there is still an uncomfortable gap that needs to be acknowledged and addressed.
How to become a Pokémon master … at organizational capacity building!
You know how in “Jurassic Park,” Jeff Goldblum was like, this ain’t gonna end well? He was one of the few characters who tried to articulate that resurrecting apex predators that see humans as tasty walking lunchables may not be the brightest of ideas. But then overconfident white people did it anyway and death and dismemberment ensued.
And then do you remember how Goldblum — beautiful, dark haired zaddy Jeff Goldblum — became an integral part of the cleanup and ultimate containment of the very, very bad science experiment?
Take a lesson from Legos: Donor-centric fundraising doesn’t have to be in opposition to community-centric fundraising
When I was a kid, my mom (shoutout to my mom), found this catalog in the back of a Lego instruction booklet that let us call the Lego company and order little packages of specific Lego pieces.
This was a game-changer in our house.
Because whenever we got that big blue Lego bucket out, we were always on the hunt for those little fiddly pieces that were so hard to find. Joints. Hinges. Those little toggles that make the Lego people look like they’re using a joystick. All of them worth their weight in gold if you wanted to build a cool robot or a spaceship with a working hatch (which, as it happens, I often did).
6 steps to making metrics an ally of your diversity plan
Hey, you’re still here! Usually, I say “metrics” and the room clears out. We’re already off to a great start.
After my previous article was published in December, about common pitfalls to avoid when implementing a diversity plan, I started to get questions about metrics. Specifically: How do we design metrics that are actually meaningful to diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) plans? The answer is too long and complicated for the comments section, so here we are.
6 lessons for broadening your mental horizons, from the perspective of a Gen Z student
Despite the never-ending deadlines and the new and glorious challenges of adult life, Gen Z are some of the most political and active members of our society. The police brutality that resulted in the death of George Floyd sparked mass protests across the world for the Black Lives Matter movement with Gen Z at the forefront. Similarly, around a month ago, university students across the UK took to the streets demanding for improved student well-being.
Why throwing professionalism out the window was my best career move
I used to wear the title of ‘working professional’ with pride.
It’s because I have an inescapable type A personality. It was also because I was fed the message of maximizing career pursuits ever since middle school, when my aptitude for organizing became clear in extracurricular activities.
Fundraisers, your community needs your talents beyond your 9-to-5 office job
As a development director who loathes capitalism, I often feel very conflicted about my job. When I was young, I had big visions of making a positive impact on the communities I loved, and they certainly didn’t include asking those who hoard wealth to give back (what is often) an insignificant amount to marginalized communities in exchange for a tax deduction and a sense of superiority and white saviorism.
I wrote a CCF essay about racial gaslighting — and then white fragility blew up in my face!
In the throes of the holiday season last December, the careful balance between read and unread emails in my inbox was starting to take a turn. As I conducted my daily reckoning of my inbox, one message jumped out at me, demanding my immediate attention. It didn’t have a subject.
I recognized the handle right away though; I knew who it was. A riff on her name, she always used the same version of that handle for her social media accounts.
I took a deep breath and rolled my eyes.
The untold dress code in philanthropy: how and when we choose to police gender expression
In a previous job, my development supervisor bought me nail polish since she knew I enjoy wearing it. This was evident, as I had done so in the office previously.
However, this supervisor was also the one to tell me to remove the nail polish before I went to
any donor event or donor meeting.
The message was clear: You can be whoever you want to be, as long as it doesn’t interfere
with or inconvenience our revenue streams.