By Michelle Flores Vryn, CFRE, frontline fundraiser, board member, and content creator

So, what will it be? Do you stay and struggle against the tide, or do you leap into the unknown for a chance at true impact? 

Let me describe an experience that is universal among fundraisers. (If you’re not a fundraiser, consider yourself lucky. This is not a happy story but one of deep and layered disappointment.)

You interview at a good amount of places to make sure you find the right fit. You’re not in a hurry. Far from it. You want the right professional landing. There are some real outrageous nonprofits out there and you want to steer way clear of that mess. 

So you interview and you select a place that feels pretty great. 

The excitement is palpable! The people and mission are fabulous and they are open to having you teach about a “culture of philanthropy.” Can you believe it? They even use that term. This is a good sign. 

The first few weeks or even months are pretty good. All in all, you feel confident in your selection choices. Go you! 

But then it happens. The inevitable. It’s one of two scenarios. If you have poor luck, you get slapped in the face with both. 

Scenario 1:

The board is not happy with the fundraising progress. This message flows down to you. Your eyes grow bigger with shock. It’s only been 10 w-e-e-k-s! and we discussed how relationship-building takes time! We had dialogue around it. Heck, you even interviewed with the board chair, who seemed like he “really got it.” Whatever it is. 

Scenario 2:

Your CEO asks in your weekly check-in where the million-dollar gift pipeline is. “This is great but where’s the real money? Like million-dollar gifts?” Now you’re caught off guard. It’s a Zoom call. You can see your own face in the upper corner. Don’t look shocked. Don’t look angry or taken aback. Get curious. Right? That’s what your therapist said. Don’t let anger take over. Ask why. 

So you do. 

You mutter back, “Hmmm, can you tell me more about what you mean by a million-dollar pipeline? Are you not satisfied with the people in our pipeline?”

“No, they are not million-dollar-level gifts. These are small players. We need bigger fish. Where are they?” 

So now, you enter the stage of second-guessing yourself. At first, you think, “Am I wasting time on the wrong prospects?” No, you know you’re not. These are good fits—you did your research. 

But how do you convey this? 

“You want million-dollar gifts? Huh, well you better start forming million-dollar relationships.” 

Too snarky. You cannot say that. Be realistic. So what do you say?

Enter the realization

In that instant, true colors have been revealed. You now face a fork in the road. Not to be decided in this conversation. One that has to be put on hold and fully digested after the call. You know, when you reevaluate your decision to take the job and jeopardize your whole career.

A path of two choices

I repeat. You have two choices.

Choice 1

You stay and try to teach and persuade the organization—let’s face it, it’s really the top leadership—to exercise more patience. Relationships take time. They are nonlinear. We put in the work and it pays off. Our work is impressive and people want to back it. We have to understand it’s a slower burn than we’d like. That’s the nature of the fundraising game. Also, throw in some Giving USA data for backup.

The problem with Choice 1: You’ve been here before. It never worked. Never. Not one time did you actually succeed at changing people. Your therapist says this feat is impossible. But what does she know anyway? People tendencies, I suppose.

Choice 2

You plan your exit strategy. Your well-being is not worth being stuck in a capitalistic mindset wrapped around the nonprofit industrial complex. You are talented. Heck, multi-talented. You’re a brilliant strategist. You could get hired anywhere. One snag though: despite its endless flaws, you actually like nonprofit work. God only knows why. The people are so hard to work with. Unrealistic expectations out the wazoo.

But what is the exit strategy?! How do you not go down with a sinking-and-on-flames ship? 

You have to jump. But … does this mean you’ll have to compromise what you want? Become a consultant. Ugh. Like the sector needs one more consultant. 

So, what will it be? 

Do you stay and struggle against the tide, or do you leap into the unknown for a chance at true impact? 

The choice is yours. 

What’s the good ending to this story?

Is there one?