Keep your “love is love” and other platitudes: 5 things individuals, organizations, and foundations can do this Pride month

By Chris Talbot, nonprofit laborer and perpetually disappointed trans queer

This year, I don’t want to see a single “ally” say “love is love,” or “love wins,” or “all you need is love,” or any other trite, pointless, platitude. (I never want to see these, but especially not this year.)

I’ve written a version of this essay for the last two years, and things have not changed for the better. In 2023, I wrote about the harms of generalized rainbow capitalism; in 2024, I wrote about the despicable pinkwashing from Israel to justify the genocide of Palestinians. 

This year, we have the same two unconscionable forms of pandering and racist manipulation, respectively. 

Plus, trans people in the United States are being targeted by our far-right, fascist government. 

We have been losing our rights and are being forced out of public life, with just about every one of the organizations and companies that advertise to us each Pride season implicitly or explicitly saying that we are expendable collateral damage for more “important” wins or profits. 

(What those wins could be is beyond me. I haven’t seen any attempts at retaining or solidifying any other group’s rights, either.)

This year, I don’t want to see a single “ally” say “love is love,” or “love wins,” or “all you need is love,” or any other trite, pointless, platitude. (I never want to see these, but especially not this year.) 

Here are just some ideas of what you should be doing this Pride month to be a true ally and accomplice:

Trans Ally Actions For Individuals

1. Learn about the anti-trans bills out there and provide your time, treasure, talent, or testimony to ensure that they fail.

At the time I’m writing this, there are 730 active anti-trans bills in the United States that are designed specifically to block trans people from receiving basic healthcare and gender-affirming healthcare, forcibly out trans kids to their parents, restrict access to bathrooms (and therefore, public life), allow adults to examine children’s genitals if they want to play in school sports (for real), and more.

There have been at least 12 Executive Orders targeting trans people, including one that declares that nonbinary identity (mine) doesn’t exist and forcibly socially de-transitioning us on the federal level.

You can learn about all the state-level and federal-level attacks on the Trans Legislation Tracker website.

What can “do something” look like? It will depend on what the organizations fighting these bills need. Here is a list of organizations in each state fighting against anti-trans legislation. Find out what they need specifically that you can offer and do that. If you don’t have capacity to volunteer your time and talent, make a donation. If you don’t have funds to make a donation, share with someone who does. 

2. Immediately stop purchasing items from organizations and individuals that are donating their money to the Palestinian genocide, anti-trans bills, or to get anti-trans legislators elected.

Every year, I hear about how our “allies” love Harry Potter so much and how it was a pivotal set of books from their childhood and they couldn’t possibly give it up and how dare we ask and you don’t want to alienate your allies, do you?

Yes, actually.

If the line you’re drawing is that you could not possibly stop supporting a franchise that directly lines the pockets of J.K. Rowling – who has been a virulent outspoken anti-trans activist and recently posted a photo of herself smoking a cigar on her yacht (that y’all paid for), bragging that she funded (again, with money you gave her) the U.K. Supreme Court judgment that ruled trans women should not be considered women, instantly wiping out decades of civil rights advocacy – I don’t want your allyship. She literally bankrolled trans women in the U.K. losing their rights. So, if pointing it out “alienates” our allies, you weren’t really an ally at all.

If you want a replacement set of books to get excited about in the same genre, check out the Simon Snow Trilogy by Rainbow Rowell. Not only do the proceeds not fund anti-trans legislation, there is queer representation on the page (not off the page, with not so much as a hint on any page in several-many books, but just take the author’s word for it, bro).

3. Intercede when you see anti-trans rhetoric or violence – literally put yourself in harms way.

If you’re leaving us to endure people who openly hate us, you cannot call yourself an ally; you are now another obstacle.

Not only will they not listen to us if we try to convince them of our humanity, but our nervous systems can’t take the continual amount of emotional regulation needed to try.

I once worked at a call center after being unceremoniously laid off from a nonprofit after advocating for myself and others too many times. (A whole other story.) And at this call center, we gave phone concierge service to rich people. One of these clients would verbally abuse the call center workers, and liked to call them racial and anti-queer slurs, especially. When I told supervisors that I did not believe that I or anyone else he targeted should just take it (the directive we had been given), I was met with, “Oh, he does that to everyone,” without regard to the fact that it only had a deep impact when we shared the identities that he was screaming about.

Yes, others may have a reaction to being verbally abused and being told by management to simply endure it because said rich guy pays the owner money for this service (literally, no one should ever be required to endure verbal abuse at their job), but no, others will not have the kind of deep, traumatic, chronic-stress-creating pain that those who are from the targeted demographics will have.

The same goes here. Yes, you may have fear and a reaction to confronting an angry person with hate in their heart. No, you will not experience the same abuse that someone who is trans will if they try to navigate this person on their own. Step up. Step in. Here is a guide to combatting anti-transgender disinformation and rhetoric.

4. Give trans people their flowers while they’re still alive.

This means providing your time, treasure, talent, or testimony when we have medical procedures that aren’t covered; when we’re recovering from medical procedures estranged from our families of origin; need assistance with housing, bills, necessities, and items that bring us joy; or are trying to make a living in a society where we are the most likely to be under- or unemployed or experience low wages.

There are countless GoFundMe’s from trans folks in need all over the Internet. If you don’t want to search for one, consider helping Simon with his housing stability. Simon has been unhoused for almost two months since his landlord attacked him, and I’ve been working to get him temporary housing for that time. He has now landed a job and has the means to provide for himself again, but needs the upfront cost of moving into a place. 

5. Skip the big corporate Pride celebrations.

Celebrate Pride with the hyperlocal, marginalized-led organizations that continually look out for everyone in our communities.

For Denverites, this will mean skipping Denver Pride – which has once again chosen to pinkwash sponsors despite the community’s demand that they dump the sponsors who have dumped us – and supporting Black Pride Colorado. And the bulk of their events are this week! Check out all the events and be sure to support or attend as many as you can.

Trans Ally Actions For Organizations

1. Learn about the organizations doing the on-the-ground work and support them with your time, treasure, talent, or testimony to ensure that they succeed.

There is no such thing as mission creep (at least not in the overly broad way we think of it), so that is not a reason to forgo supporting organizations doing important and parallel work in your communities.

For example, I work in the environmental nonprofit field. Lots of organizations in my field like to pretend that social issues, like trans rights, are mission creep. However, just like we like to point to indicator species as a reflection of the environmental condition of an ecosystem, People of the Global Majority and trans people are the indicator species of the environmental conditions of our communities (a huge thank you to my friend, Parker McMullen Bushman, for this eye-opening truth).

PoGM and trans people are hit the first and worst by environmental injustice due to the systemic and ongoing belief that we are expendable and treatment as such by governments and agencies. But waterways and breezes don’t recognize neighborhood borders. 

If you can’t care about us because we’re people and deserve the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness just like everyone else, care that what is happening to us will eventually happen to you.

2. Immediately stop purchasing items from companies and supporting individuals that are donating their money to the Palestinian genocide, anti-trans bills, or to get anti-trans legislators elected.

A lot of these companies have even done the research for you by not draping their logos in rainbows this year! That was easy! Two years ago, I had to make spreadsheets and cross-reference websites about which politicians companies were donating to with a list of how those politicians voted on queer and trans rights, which took literal days.

(If you notice, a lot of the organizations that dropped the queer and trans community like a hot potato are also the ones that are on the Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions for Palestine (BDS) list. Because fascism is fascism is fascism.)

You’ve heard me say it for the past two years, so here’s the spiel from someone else, Matt Bernstein:

“The reason you don’t see any Pride logos this year is the same reason you saw so many of them in years past: Corporations decide what to do based on what’s already popular. The problem with rainbow capitalism isn’t that rainbow logos are bad – it’s just not activism. The moment LGBTQ rights become unpopular to support, brands were nowhere to be found, because they were never truly supporting us to begin with. They were supporting their profit margin, same as they’re doing now. Walmart loves to show up when Pride is a party and disappear when it becomes a protest.”

For your large scale purchases, that means it’s time to avoid everyone pulling their support and leaving queer and trans people to fend for themselves and investing instead in those that have doubled-down and increased their support. 

3. Intercede when you see anti-trans rhetoric or violence, even at the cost of possible support to your organization.

I’ll never forget how I felt when a previous coworker balked at the idea of returning a $25 donation to a first-time supporter who had sent the check with a letter disparaging trans people to me, a trans person. (And later brought it up as an example of me “elevat[ing my] personal interests over the mission… result[ing] in a dysfunctional organization that no longer works productively towards the stated mission.”)

These are acts of violence that should not be allowed in the purview of your organization, regardless if the person gave $0.25 or $25,000. What is the price you’d put on someone’s dignity? (Additionally, examine why would it be less than the price you’d put on your own?) And what if every person making it decided they valued the money more, which led to the fascism we see today?

If you see it, you need to disrupt it, call that person in, and support the trans people in relationship with your organization, be they a donor, staff member, board member, volunteer, or a stranger at an event you’re tabling.

Always intercede. We only got to this fascist state because those on the “left” have decided that confronting fascism is a step too far. 

4. Give trans people their flowers while they’re still alive.

Organizations shout out historical figures all the time for celebratory months. What if we decided to honor people who are living for their contributions? What if, if we hold a place of relative power or privilege, we shared the good works of organizations that are marginalized-led and encouraged our membership to support those groups?

These groups and people are the least likely (statistically) to receive adequate funding for their work. We can share our stage with them and help them receive what they deserve.

(This year, because of the large targets on our backs, it would be a best practice to check in to see if that is desired first. You don’t want to inadvertently send bigots to the doorstep of a trans person or trans-led organization.)

5. Skip the big corporate Pride celebrations.

Table at or fund Pride with the hyperlocal, marginalized-led organizations that continually look out for everyone in our communities.

And tell the large corporate Pride-organizing institutions why you’re moving your support and how they can earn it back – by listening to the community, uplifting those most at-risk, and not ditching them to cater to the cisgender heterosexual community instead.

Trans Ally Actions for Foundations

1. Learn about the organizations doing the on-the-ground work for and with the whole community and support them with your time, treasure, talent, or testimony to ensure that they succeed. 

Too often, foundations pick one, large, typically cis, white, gay-led organization to support with their foundation money.

And typically, those organizations do the least for the communities they’re meant to serve or shut out the most marginalized members as a strategic practice. Because of their size and to avoid “alienating” donors, they tend to cater their offerings to a white, vanilla, cisgender, and heterosexual “norm,” playing respectability politics, and leaving those who will never fit that norm in the dust.

We’ve seen it time and time again here in Denver, with The Center on Colfax getting the majority of local foundational dollars meant for queer and trans organizations, and doing lackluster programming with it. Their annual Pride weekend doesn’t even function for the queer and trans community! It centers cis- and heteronormativity for our “allies,” to make them feel better about their privilege and to pretend that slapping rainbows on things and saying “love is love” does something.

Most of their sponsors in the last two years (the years I searched; I’m sure it’s been an ongoing practice) gave copious amounts of dollars to get anti-queer legislators elected. 

What good is a big party once a year and vapid programming throughout the rest of it, when the organizations they uplift and encourage queer people and allies to spend their money at are electing anti-trans and anti-queer legislators?

Foundations should find the intersectional organizations doing the good work for queer and trans liberation and safety year-round and support them instead.

If the large white, cisgender organizations want to sell out the rest of the community for corporate dollars, let them chase those dollars. Don’t give them the limited foundational dollars you give out annually as well. 

2. Immediately stop investing the caches of money your foundation sits on in companies that fund the Palestinian genocide, anti-trans bills, and the elections of anti-trans legislators.

Yes, even if they’re profitable. I get that in order to exist in perpetuity (as one foundation laborer informed me they have to do), you need to invest the stores of wealth you have. Do your research and divest from these companies, specifically, and invest in those that support Palestinian, queer, and trans liberation.

Unfortunately, the work of finding trans-friendly companies to invest in has not been made easy. The Human Rights Coalition’s Corporate Equality Index report – which a lot of articles will say you should use for this research – has a 100% rating for a lot of companies that give money to anti-queer legislators. They’re rating how employees of that organization feel they are treated, not how they support folks they don’t need to create their sizable profits.

For example, UnitedHealthcare has a 100% rating when I can guarantee they are not a good company to have insurance through if you’re trans (they constantly try to deny coverage of gender-affirming care, and unless your doctor will fight for you, you will not get care).

If possible, find trans-led companies supporting trans lives instead. 

3. Intercede when you see anti-trans rhetoric or violence or complicity in that rhetoric or violence.

This could mean using your sway to push organizations to do the right thing.

We’ve seen foundations drop organizations for supporting Palestinian liberation, so there’s a precedent for pushing organizations toward a value. Push them in the correct, justice-oriented direction; push them to stop their support for anti-trans legislation, rhetoric, or violence.

(You also don’t have to defund them without a conversation, as Rose Community Foundation did to organizations here in Denver who publicly supported Palestinian lives and liberation. Pushing implies that an opportunity to change course is given. The goal is change; not defunding everyone.)

4. Give trans organizations their flowers while they’re still active.

Trans-led and trans-serving organizations are grossly under-funded, despite us being a primary target of the fascist government right now.

According to The State of Trans Organizing report, 51% of trans organizations are operating with budgets below $20k, and 14% are operating with no budget at all. Nearly 30% received no support from governmental or foundational funding. Cut them checks.

Even if they can’t fill out your lengthy applications and attend pointless in-person meetings about the funding. They don’t have any money, y’all! They’re running on fumes and vibes. They can’t do those things and provide the services that are needed! Cut them checks. 

5. I covered this in the first suggestion, but it bears repeating: Skip supporting the big corporate Pride celebrations.

Celebrate Pride with the hyperlocal, marginalized-led organizations that continually look out for everyone in our communities.

As I’ve said in the last two essays, the first Pride was a riot, and the second was a protest of the conditions that necessitated that riot. While we also need to lean into queer joy and celebrate ourselves and our community, corporate Pride and empty platitudes like “love is love” doesn’t do that. It caters to white, cisgender, abled, heterosexual folks, respectability politics, and the status quo. We can’t be complicit in it, especially as our trans and Palestinian siblings are under fire.

The items I listed above for individuals, organizations, and foundations are the minimum y’all should be doing to be allies and accomplices this year. What are you going to do?