“I’m sorry — I’ll do better next time.” One sentence, seven words = the beginning of repair.
Not long ago, over text message, I told a friend (let’s call him Bryce) that something he said didn’t land well with me. All I wanted to hear in reply were those seven words.
Instead, I got a text that said something like “OK” and then, days later, an in-person visit under false pretenses during which I got a monologue on how, by telling him that I was uncomfortable with his words, I had hurt him — how I had triggered him and brought up his old traumas.